- Stand Up For Yourself
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Stand Up For Yourself
It is important to let people know what you think is important in a way that helps them really hear you. When you stand up for yourself, it is sometimes called assertiveness. Sometimes people do not stand up for themselves because they
- are scared of the other person
- are scared of what the person might do to them if they do not agree
- do not want the other person to be upset
- are too angry to say things well
- feel the other person does not treat them with respect
- do not like or respect the other person
- do not have the energy to argue
- have too much happening
- have not done well when they stood up for themselves before
- do not know how to get others to listen and give them what they need.
Here are some tips for how to stand up for yourself and get people to hear what you need:
- Say what you think.
- Say how you feel.
- Do not put yourself or others down.
- Stand by what you say. If you believe what you said is right, do not back down and change.
- Speak only for yourself. Do not say "Everyone wants" when you do not know what all the others want.
- Let others speak for themselves.
- Talk about the problem now. If there were problems in the past as well, leave them out. The past cannot be fixed, only the present.
When you stand up for yourself, what you say should have four parts:
- Focus on yourself. Say "I want" or "I need" or "I feel."
- Talk about the other person's actions, not what you think the other person means or feels.
- Talk about what happened, not about things in general. Do not use the words "always," "never," or "ever" to talk about how someone acts.
- Say what you need to be different.
Click here for an activity to help you use these rules when you speak up for yourself.
Last modified
2006-01-31 21:10
