- Difficult Conversations
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Difficult Conversations (Talk)
At some time you may need to give team members feedback about something they did or did not do that was a problem. This can be difficult. You do not want the other person to be mad at you or upset. But you do want the person to fix the problem or learn a better way for next time.
- See yourself as a coach whose job is to help team members win [C1]. It is more important for things to get better, than for the other person to do things your way.
- Ask the other person if it is a good time to talk about the problem. If the person has had a bad day, they may not be able to think about another problem. Set a time to talk that works for both of you [C1].
- Do not use the words "always," "never," or "ever" to talk about how someone acts or thinks [C1].
- Focus on the problem behaviour and how it affects team members or how the team will reach its goal [C11].
- Ask what happened. If the person tries to blame others for the past mistake, focus on looking ahead. Do not play the "blame game."
- Support the person to come up with a plan for the next time something goes wrong. Ask the person what they need from others so things do not go wrong again [C11].
- Remind the person of their skills and what they do well so that they do not focus only on the mistake. Show them you think they can do well [C11].
Difficult conversations do not need to turn into conflicts. Here are some tips to help you stay friends [C4]:
- Do not give advice. Help team members find their own solution.
- Do not ask "why" in a way that makes people feel you do not trust them.
- Do not talk down to people as if they were children.
- Do not judge or blame others.
- Do not explain away other people's feelings as if they were not important.
- Do not tell them things are OK if they are not. Be honest about how you feel.
Last modified
2006-01-31 20:59
